literature

Dora's Quest

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Dora walked out from amongst the brush, she glanced up at the brutal sun, and said “Hey everybody! Let’s explore!” she sighed, “story of my pitiful four years of life.” “What?” asked about two million 3-6 year olds, “Oh, nothing, I said, Get your backpacks everyone!” Dora had always been a tortured little girl, for she had sold her soul to the devil at the age of two. She spent her life trying to find it, searching all over the stupid Spanish speaking colorful world that she had been stuck in, using her spare time to annoy as many babysitters as possible to death. Today’s “exploration” was no different than any other, a stupid goal she couldn’t even remember had been set in front of her, and she had to go across three trials along the way. (Side note: WAY! OMG!) As she walked along the path she thought darkly to herself “perhaps if I kill someone… the devil will give me back my soul?” but then she saw it, the first trial. It was bunch of rude flowers, and they were swaying in the wind screaming “¡Soy molesto! ¡Soy molesto!” She found herself speaking words she never intended to say again, like some insane person in a TV studio was controlling her mouth. “Do YOU see the swaying flowers?” she asked loudly. There was no reply, yet she kept speaking. “Help me get through the swaying flowers! Say, ¡mate a las flores! ¡mate a las flores! ¡mate a las flores!” She took out a chainsaw and started chopping down the flowers laughing manically as the flowers, who had blood for no apparent reason, started screaming. Flower blood was flying in every direction and Dora was still randomly killing things with her chainsaw, to the delight of millions of children. When she was finally to the other side of the flower patch, she spotted her last thing she wanted to see right now, it was Boots, her chain smoking monkey sidekick. Boots used to be a perfectly smart monkey, but he had started smoking as of late and now always had a cigarette grasped in his tail. He was always a bit dazed, and Dora had to wonder if that was ALL he was smoking. She heard her voice again, and thought, “Ugh, will I ever be able to control my mouth?” “Hi Boots! Are YOU going to help me find the magic dolphin of King Dumbname?” Boots glared at her and started speaking too, she had learned a while ago that he suffered the same speech control issues as she did. “Of course Dora! Lets go!” They linked elbows and skipped off down the road. “I hate you, you annoying little girl, and you have a bowl cut!” hissed Boots, he had hated Dora for as long as she could remember, but it still struck her as odd that he could say those things with a smile on his face… maybe that was the fault of the Controllers too. “It’s a bob I tell you! A bob! Not a bowl cut!” she whispered back at him, just as the next trial came into view. This time it a river, which they had to cross, but just as she started to think of ways across she heard a horrible voice in her head, like sound of evil itself. “Doraaaa….. I have your soul Dora… it’s waiting for you, at the gumdrop mountain…” “The gumdrop mountain? But that’s the third trial!” She exclaimed “yes I know that you twit, that’s the point!” the voice hissed. She was suddenly excited to get across the river and without thinking she grabbed Boots, threw him in the water and used his head as a stepping-stone to get across the river. “YOU B****!” Boots yelled after her as he floated down the river, but she was already running off on the path to the gumdrop mountain. “Finally! I’ll get my soul back! Now I don’t have to kill anyone!” she though excitedly. She ran as fast as she could for what seemed like hours, but after a while her stupid ruffle sock got caught on a rock and she fell down hard. “S***!” she yelled, and rolled over into she shade to rest for a while. “Okay… I’ve already met up with and almost killed Boots, gone through two trials… what’s left?” and as if to answer her question, Swiper appeared. “Oh! Swiper no swiping!” she yelled, trying to remember if those were the right words, but then she noticed, Swiper wasn’t just his hyper self, he was rabid. His mouth was foaming and he suddenly started lunging at Dora, a glint of malice in his big eyes. Dora screamed at the top of her lungs and dodged his first attack, but he wasn’t giving up any time soon, and he charged her again. She knew she had to defend herself somehow, but with what? Her backpack wasn’t any help, all the stupid thing could do was sing and carry a map, but she decided to give it a shot. She grabbed her backpack with shaking arms and threw it with all her might at the rabid fox, watching in horror as her screaming pack got shredded to bits in front of her eyes. She winced as the screams of map started to fill the air as well. After that moment of shock, she remembered it was probably a good idea to run, and dashed off in the direction opposite of Swiper, which unfortunately was back to the river. When she reached its bank, she looked down and realized it was a dead end. Dora looked over her shoulder in a panic and realized Swiper was chasing her again, little bits of map and backpack dangling from his foamy lips. “Gross!” She thought, even though that wasn’t really what she should have been thinking about. She turned her back to the river and faced her advancing enemy. “Am I going to die? What about my soul! I’M ONLY FOUR!” the thoughts raced through her head faster than… well… faster than a rabid fox with a grudge. “DIE FUN-SUCKER!” Swiper yelled as he dashed towards her, claws extended. But in his rabies-fogged brain, he didn’t notice the same rock Dora had tripped over earlier, and went tumbling to the earth, and rolled right into Dora. She screamed and fell back into the river, her lungs filling with icy cold water. She thrashed around with all her might, trying to get her freakishly huge head above the water, but she just kept sinking. Then she remembered, Spanish! Saying stupid things in this world made things happen! “¡subida! ¡subida! ¡subida!” she said as best she could with a mouth full of water, and just as she though, she started rising to the surface. As soon as she finally reached the shore, she hopped on to the back and was suddenly hit in the back of the head with… something, she wasn’t quite sure. Turned out it was just Boots, throwing random things at her again. “Okay… moving on” she grumbled as she got up. Dora then started to wonder how far off track from the gumdrop mountain she had gotten and walked for a while, completely spaced out until suddenly, she ran right into to it. “Um… okay, ouch, but at least I’m here.” She said to no one. She got up, went in the door that was oddly placed on the side of the mountain and yelled “HELLO? Do you have my soul!?!?” But there was no answer; the devil simply killed her, making millions of babysitters world wide very happy. The End.
A story I wrote for a friend about two years ago... sorry for any spelling and grammar errors. :) I'm sorry you had to read that.
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dora is dead!!!!! wooot!!!!!!!!!! or shall i say WOOL!!!!! shes dead shes dead shes dead!!!!!!